Review of 'Thus Bad Begins' by Javier Marias

It feels like forever since I've sat down to write a book review, and it seems that despite promising myself I'd use December to catch up on the massively mounting pile of reviews I haven't written, *checks notes* this is the first one I've actually done this month. So it's clearly going well. 

Thus Bad Begins was a bit of a weird one to try and place, in my opinion. Reading it, I imagined it was written in the mid-twentieth century, or earlier, but it was actually published in 2014. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just had a much more classic vibe, so I was shocked when I realised how recently the book was written. 

Set in the 1980s, the main character Juan de Vere is the assistant of a prominent film director, Eduardo Muriel. He lives in Muriel's house and observes the breakdown in Muriel's marriage to his wife Beatriz. He's witness to Eduardo's coldness in his behaviour to her, her weeping and their arguments. At the same time, he's convinced that Dr Van Vechten, who often visits the house, is cruel to women and starts to follow him to investigate his life. 

This was a much longer book than I expected it to be, and in all honesty not masses happened in it in comparison to its length. However, it was incredibly well written. This was a kindle read for me, so I only read it before bed each night, but it took a couple of months to finish. I didn't lose interest in it, or forget what happened as I was reading, which often happens if a book takes so long to get through. I really wanted to know what the issues that Beatriz had that were hinted at, and to discover what was happening with van Vechten.

This is one of, if not the, most sensitive and astute book that I've read that deals with mental health issues that isn't a YA read. It discusses depression and suicide in a way that's neither brash or flippant or even patronising. These are part of the characters' lives and form a natural part of the narrative. It looks at manipulation, deceit and gendered power relations in a really strong way. I've given it four stars because, despite its length, it was a well-written, insightful read.

I would recommend this if you like books like 'Love in the Time of Cholera' or are interested in reading a book by a Spanish author.

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Review of 'A Quiet Kind of Thunder' by Sara Barnard

I read Beautiful Broken Things last year and it was a full on breath of fresh air for me. I WISH I'd had more authors when I was a teen that wrote about friendship and not just romance. BBT was the book that really made me fall in love with Sara Barnard's writing and now I just want to read all of her novels, especially Fierce Fragile Hearts, set in the same world as BBT.

When Rhys joins Steffi's school she's asked to show him the ropes, with a special nod to their shared skill: sign language. Rhys is deaf, and Steffi has selective mutism which has meant that she's learnt to use sign language to express herself as she's gotten older. The book is a YA love story (no spoilers - this kicks in pretty early on), about anxiety and disability and how you can navigate these as a teen. 

I really enjoyed this as a nice quick comfort read. I wouldn't say it's as good as BBT, but the insight into the insecurities and challenges you face as a teen absolutely hit the nail on the head. The plot is quite clear from the start, and there's the usual get together, someone cocks up, fall apart and get back together again narrative, but it's one I love.

I'm giving this 4 out of 5 stars and would recommend it if you like YA romance. It'd be a good book for getting you out of a reading slump - I was muttering 'just one more chapter' under my breath for roughly half the book!

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Review of 'A Clash of Kings' by George R R Martin

This year I went through a *bit* of a Game of Thrones reading phase, but WOW they are exhausting aren't they?! This one came in at almost 900 pages, and whilst the first 300 pages (aka pretty much an ENTIRE NORMAL BOOK) set all the different scenes of action, the rest of the book was very intense and I really did enjoy it.

The book is told from 9 main characters' perspectives (Arya, Bran, Sansa, Catelyn, Daenerys, Jon, Tyrion, Davos, Theon), with an extra prologue from a tenth point of view, and I've broken the plot down into much more detail on my other blog here. It's the second and longest (in a single volume) book in the series. 

Joffrey, Renly and Stannis Baratheon all believe they have a claim to the Iron Throne after Robert Baratheon's death. With Robb Stark having proclaimed himself King of the North and Balon Greyjoy raising fights as a self-proclaimed king too, this time is declared the War of the Five Kings. 

Tensions are evidently high, and Stannis calls on witchcraft through the Red Lady to help him secure his foothold as a contender for the throne. Meanwhile, the Lannisters are still looking for a wedding with a Stark to tie the families together in the hope that at least one of them will be powerful by the end of the war.

The book culminates in the Battle of the Blackwater at King's Landing. It's fiery and deadly and changes everything for the warring factions.

This is my favourite book from the series that I've read so far. Whilst it was a VERY long read, it did mean that all of the action-packed scenes were set up with lots of details beforehand that really came together and made everything a lot more powerful. It's hard to summarise a 900 page book without going into masses of detail, but I really think this is where some of the characters really started to come to life. Sansa finally becomes tolerable, Bran becomes less tolerable but more himself, and Tyrion becomes even more likeable.

If you're a fan of the show, or sci-fi fantasy in general, then this really is a great read.

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Review of 'Holding up the Universe' by Jennifer Niven

After I fell in love with All The Bright Places earlier this year, I wanted to devour everything Jennifer Niven's ever written. Which, aside from some books aimed at a much younger audience than me, basically equates to just this book. I first bought this after seeing it recommended for one of the Zoella Autumn book clubs (what even happened to those?!), and it sat on my shelf unloved for a couple of years.

Libby Strout is known as 'America's fattest teen'. Dealing with her mum's death, Libby gained a lot of weight, forcing her to become housebound. Now however, she's able to go back to school after shedding some of it. She's filled with nerves about the prejudice surrounding her size that she knows other students will have, but she's determined.

Jack Masselin on the other hand looks like he has everything made for him: popular, good looking, and dating the hottest girl in the school. On the inside however, things are crumbling. Jack's suffering from a neurological condition that he's determined to keep a secret from everyone which causes him to be unable to recognise faces. He finds ways to remember who is who (their voice, or things like memorising hair colour etc), and pretty much everyone is duped. 

When one of the cruel tricks Jack's friends have been playing on Libby doesn't quite go to plan, Libby and Jack end up having to do counselling and volunteering together. The pair realise that not everything is the way it looks on the outside, and they might have more in common than they think.

I really enjoyed this book. It's possibly the first YA fiction I've read that has a female main character who is fat, and who isn't used as part of a joke in any way. She's not the best friend of someone with a love interest, or the younger sister, or the butt of the joke, or someone whose femininity has been stripped away. It's shocking and really sad that I can't think of a single book I read as an actual young adult that had a character like Libby in it, and I'm glad that this book is out there.

Niven also deals with mental health and neurological illness in a very profound way in the book. I think it's well with mentioning that she did a lot of research into Jack's illness, and had the book read through by someone who suffers with the same thing before it was published. The narrative looks at how both teens struggle with their mental health, and how this manifests itself in different ways, including panic attacks and anxiety. 

My one gripe is that it follows my least favourite trope of 'popular guy will turn his back on friends and popularity to date unpopular girl' that pervades so much YA fiction. It's such a lovely idea, but teens are selfish and scared of being rejected and outcast (which is totally okay - teenage years are rough), and it just really doesn't happen. Maybe I'm being cynical, but I really think there's an element of wishful thinking in this whole idea.

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Review of 'Wonder' by R. J. Palacio

In a world that seems to be more and more governed by bullying (whether that's nasty names at school, abuse on social media, or the increasing targeted harassment of minorities), it feels as though we can't make a big enough of a deal about the impact that your words and actions can have. Wonder is a YA novel with teen bullying at its heart, and it's a book that really makes you what kind of a person you were ~ or are ~ at school, and the effect that has on other people.

Wonder is a book about a ten year old boy with a facial disfigurement. He's been home-schooled all his life as his parents are fearful of how he'll feel if other people are nasty to him. However, when he reaches middle school age, they (somewhat reluctantly) agree to send him to a proper school. The headmaster grants him a chaperone, who August (the boy) soon finds out is being nasty about him behind his back. 

The book tells the story of what it's like to be a kid struggling with your own identity, as well as people's reactions to it. August is a boy with a lot of issues going on at home, and the book highlights how the bullying intersects with this and exacerbates everything. It looks at the benefits of real friendship, and showing August making friends for the first time in his life really is written very well.

My one main gripe with the book is that it weirdly sexualises one of the main characters who's a ten year old girl. It made me sit back with a bit of a 'yikes' and has totally decreased my star rating for the book as a whole. I think there were times at which the author was trying to make such complex characters, and include an edge of romance in this that they started to come across as teens rather than children. It would have been a five star read if not for this, but it just didn't sit right with me. 

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Review of 'Brighton Rock' by Graham Greene

I never thought I'd be saying I enjoyed a Graham Greene book. After being forced to read a truly bleak passage from one of his books during my a-level English studies I was convinced I'd never read anything from this dreary author again if I could help it.

And then I gave him another go, and it turns out I must have had to read a really rubbish part of his writing because I was hooked from the very first line of Brighton Rock. As it turns out, I'm a fan and I now want to read all his other works.

The book takes place in Brighton, but imagine less of the fun vibe, and more of a rainy murderous one. Charles 'Fred' Hale is a journalist come to Brighton to hand out newspaper cards as part of a competition. Having previously written an article that resulted in the leader of a local mob's death however, Hale begins to realise he's unsafe. 

On the other side of the tracks we have Pinkie, the new teenage leader of the gang. Desperate to prove that he's not just a kid, and to keep the mob in control, he becomes ever more dangerous as the book progresses.

And completing our circle of three, we have Ida Arnold, who met Fred on the day he was killed, and who's the only one determined to track down his killer, or even to find out what happened to him at all. 

This murder thriller had me gripped and felt like the ultimate Bugsy Malone style mob fiction. Greene managed to make the whole book so cleverly vivid that I feel like I can still imagine some of the scenes and the characters, without it having been too wordy. Set in the 1930s, I found this really hard to place time-wise as I was reading, as it almost seem to exist outside of time.

There were a couple of bits where the narrative slowed down a little too much for me, and I could never really connect with Hale, so I'm giving it 4 out of 5 stars.

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Review of 'The One Memory of Flora Banks' by Emily Barr

I read so much good YA fiction earlier this year, and (finally) writing up some of the reviews for them is making me want to read all the rest of the YA on my shelves. The One Memory of Flora Banks isn't a book I'd heard much about before I read it, but the cover is so pretty that I couldn't not pick it up.

This book tells the story of Flora Banks, a teen suffering with severe amnesia as a result of a brain tumour. She remembers nothing day-to-day, and has had the same best friend since before she was ill: Flora remembers her, just like she remembers her parents and brother, though sometimes this (and everything else) takes a little coaxing. She wakes up every day not knowing who she is, or being able to trust that she'll remember enough to be safe.

And then one day she kisses a boy, and the next day she remembers. It's SUCH a breakthrough for Flora, and would be great if it wasn't her best friend's boyfriend (the girl that's stuck by her side through everything). And, if she could remember that her bestfriend is pretty pissed off and won't want to answer her calls that would be pretty good too. However, now Flora has hope, and she heads off on an adventure in search of the boy who she thinks will unlock her memories for her. 

This book really reminded me of Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon, but I much preferred this book. I felt as though it taught you a lot about amnesia, why it happens and its different types. Flora as a main character was written so well, and I felt that it was important that the book was from Flora's point of view: when she was confused, so were you. I've given this four stars because there were points where I wanted the plot to move along a bit quicker, and a few moments that I found quite jarring. Overall, it was a good YA about family and friendship, growing up and first crushes and I think it encapsulated those things really well in quite a short (300-odd page) book.

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Review of 'The Summer of Impossible Things' by Rowan Coleman

Magic realism isn't my favourite writing style, especially when it's used as a trope to push a story along. However, when it's done right, it can make a book ... well, a bit magical. The Summer of Impossible Things (2018) is one of the better examples I can think of, where the author's managed to blend the magic into the rest of the book and the plot and make it believable.

When Luna and her sister head to their mum's old apartment in Brooklyn, they're determined to get to know her a little better. In the years before her death, they knew she was struggling with something that had plagued her, and it's only now that she's gone that she's prepared to let them know the truth. Thirty years before, their mum was happy and thriving, a teen ready to face the big wide world, and Luna wants to know what changed.

What she's not prepared for is how much the trip will change her. Luna begins to struggle with intense headaches, and fears the worst. However, as they flare up, she begins to see her surroundings shift: though she doesn't know it at first, she's gone back to 1977. Switching between the present and a past where she has the opportunity to meet her mum before she became a mother, Luna struggles to comprehend what's happening. Soon she realises that these transitions through time are going to offer her the answers she's looking for.

This is a story that does magical realism well, without it jarring you out of the story or making it *too* unbelievable. More importantly however, it's a story that does love and loss and grief and family well. I loved seeing Luna and her mum bond (despite the years and the secrets between them) and trying to work out exactly what had happened. It was a full on page-turner that I could not put down.

*Trigger warning - sexual assault*

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Review of 'How to Stop Time' by Matt Haig

I've been following Matt Haig on twitter for a LONG time, and I love his honesty and ability to really get to the heart of things even in as short a writing format as a tweet. However, it wasn't until this year that I actually read one of his books, and now I want to read them all. 

Haig is a big advocate for improving mental health services, talking about men's mental health and living in a way that is positive for you. Though this isn't the main message of the book, or even really at its forefront, I think it's there in the way the main character presents his outlook on the world.

The book follows the story of Tom Hazard, a man with a rare condition that means he ages much much slower than the average person. Born in Shakespearean times, Tom's story line flits from the present day back to when he was a child, and explains why Tom behaves the way he does. Over time, he's learnt that nothing really matters apart from love and that it's the only thing that isn't completely transient. Having lost his wife to the plague when he was young, Tom knows that his daughter Marion is someone like him and he's desperate to find her.

Tom was discovered by an agency that protects people with the same condition as him. He's assigned to seek out someone that is suspected to be the same, and either recruit them or make sure they're not able to tell anyone that people like him exist. 

I honestly LOVED this book and gave it five stars. I'm a massive fan of back stories for characters (honestly the more in-depth the better, and don't even get me started on prequels). I'm also a big fan of historical fiction, and learning more about history, so this was right up my street, albeit in a heavily fictionalised version kinda way. The book took us through Shakespearean times to Tom meeting F Scott Fitzgerald, and all around the world too. 

Sometimes books like this delve too much into the side of creating a really nice back story for a character without any real plot, but I loved learning about the dark side of the society that Tom ends up a part of, and I felt this added some much-needed drama to the story. I could honestly read book after book from this world, and I'd be SO into hearing the story of Tom's daughter and how she's grown up differently in a world that hates people that are 'different'.

It reads a little like YA fiction, though I'm not sure if it's intended as adult literary fiction. I think as something that comes across a bit YA-ey, it's important that this isn't a traditional romantic love story. but a familial love story because those are honestly so rare in the genre.

I would recommend this to YA fiction fans, especially if you enjoy historical fiction too!

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Review of 'The Essex Serpent' by Sarah Perry

It kind of seems as though 2019 might be the year of literary fiction for me? I'm actually reading books that have been brought out ~fairly~ recently (aka in the past five years) and they are real adult lit fic? Am I alright?

For real though, this is a genre I've largely steered clear of in the past just because other ones interest me more. Now that I've got my teeth sunk in a little though there are SO MANY that I want to pick up and give a go. 

The novel kicks off with a mysterious death of a man, which is later attributed to be caused by a mythological beast named the Essex Serpent. The main story then starts with the death of Cora Seaborne's abusive husband. Set in 1893, Cora lives in a time where she couldn't leave this man, and inwardly rejoices that he's lost his hold over her.

Desperate to leave her boring, restrictive life behind, Cora takes her son Frances and his governess to Essex, to be a little removed from the hustle of London life. She is an inquisitive woman, who places reason and science before religion. When a couple of friends suggest that she stay with a priest and his wife and children so that she can find out more about this Essex Serpent, Cora is a little apprehensive, but decides to go for it.

The book questions the boundaries between fact and fiction, faith and science, and where the boundaries lie between morality and immorality. Cora's own sense of what is right is put in jeopardy by her desires, and she loses sight of the strange behaviour of Frances. On the surface, he's a naughty little boy who won't do what he's told, but deep down he's a little troubled, and much more interesting than at first glance.

I've given this a 3/5 stars, because although it's a very good imitation of a Victorian novel (my fave), and at times I felt as though I could be reading an Austen novel, there were some jarring anachronisms that totally took me out of the world of the book and made me remember that it is a modern novel. 

I did love the questioning of where the boundaries lie between being masculine and feminine, and I felt this was a real strength. However, the plot was spread very thinly throughout the book. I feel as though it might have worked a little better being 50 or so pages shorter, but I can see that the level of detail was part of the aura of it being a Victorian-esque novel.

I've heard so many people rave about this, and maybe if I'd gone in without this idea in mind it might have come across a little better! 

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Review of 'Dracula' by Bram Stoker

Aaaaand on to the first re-read of the year. I am a BIG Dracula fan. I took my time getting about to reading it the first time, and held off until I was 20. Basically I was still in the teenage phase of not wanting to like something because everyone said it was good so I didn't read it (so many regrets) until way after pretty much everyone on my uni course had given it a go. 

Anyhow, the first time around I read it for a first wave feminism module at uni and it was so interesting to approach the book from that perspective. This time around, however, my reading felt a little less focused and it allowed me the chance to notice a whole lot that I'd overlooked the first time around.

Dracula begins when Jonathan Harker travels to Transylvania on business to meet a Count. When he arrives, the locals seem to fear him, wearing garlic around their necks and crossing themselves. He is attacked by wolves on his way to the Count's castle, but saved by the Count himself. Once he's there, he begins to notice that things aren't how you would expect. He never sees the Count during the day, most of the castle is closed off to him, and Jonathan ultimately realises he's trapped.

Back in England, his betrothed Mina Harker is staying with her closest friend Lucy Westenra, who is trying to deal with the (so hard) problem of having three very different men seeking her hand in marriage. However, soon Lucy's behaviour starts to become very concerning. She sleepwalks, and when she returns to her bed she seems pale and almost lifeless. 

Soon begins a battle between one of the most esteemed doctors of the time, Professor Van Helsing, and a force making nightly visits to Lucy, intent on draining her blood ...

This is one of the key Gothic horror novels, sitting alongside the likes of The Monk, Frankenstein and Edgar Allen Poe's poetry. It has all of the key elements of being an OG Gothic novel: a gloomy moody setting, supernatural elements, the sublime, the question of morality vs depravity, and a side helping of sexually depraved women. The language isn't too dense or antiquated, and whilst the book is quite lengthy, it does switch between various narratives to keep you on your toes.

I am such a big fan of the book, and would put it in my top ten all-time reads. I love how much popular fiction has come from the idea of Dracula put forward in this book, and thinking about how much of an impact it has had globally and across time just blows my mind. Basically, if you want to get into Gothic fiction (who doesn't?), this is a great book to start with, or use to delve deeper into the genre. 

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Review of 'Doing It!' by Hannah Witton

This is my first (and I think only?) non-fiction read of 2019 so far. Hannah's a Youtuber that I've been following for quite a few years now, and when she released her first book I knew I wanted to get my hands on it. Her Youtube channel focuses on breaking down taboos and talking about sex in a positive and inclusive way, which is pretty much what the book covers too.

The book isn't really what I'd expected, though I don't think that's a bad thing. Every couple of pages includes bold designs to break up the text so that visually, the book doesn't end up being a whole mass of text and information. Working in publishing makes me wonder though whether this was done more to bring the book up to the length of a full book, rather than it being a bit on the short side. Sceptics aside, it's a nice touch for teens who might feel overwhelmed reading masses of small text on a topic they may be struggling to completely come to terms to.

I really feel as though the book is aimed at teens rather than being young adult or adult fiction. Though this meant that it erred on feeling a bit too 'young' for me, you'd also hope that by my mid-twenties I'd have most period/sex ed things figured out by now. I do think it's better that it's aimed at a younger audience, as it includes a lot of topics not covered by most sex-ed curricula (and 100% definitely not covered by the one I experienced at a Catholic school). It's important that it is written in an accessible style for teens, so whilst it wasn't something that I completely enjoyed, I feel as though that sort of made it better.

My favourite thing about the book is how inclusive it is. Hannah uses inclusive language in terms of gender and sex, as well as information on LGBTQA+ relationships and safe sex. The book features chapters from others (including Juno Dawson who is just FAB) on topics that Hannah wouldn't necessarily know about, including what it's like to be a man with a porn addiction, and being uncomfortable in your sex during puberty. I think it's so important that she's decided to have these chapters in the book written by people who have experienced things that she could only talk about in a more abstract way.

I'm giving this 3 stars, because although I think it would be a great book for teens, I found myself skipping through a few bits, and found the format with all of the bold patterns separating things a little jarring.

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Review of 'The Leopard' by Giuseppe Tomasi Di Lampedusa

It's been a while since I've sat down on here to review a classic, hasn't it?! This took me SO long to read, and has absolutely put me behind with my Goodreads target for the year, but I am done and free and never have to read it again. This whole statement probably tells you a lot about how I found the book ...

You see, I LOVE reading classics and being all 'yeah, I did that, and it was okay' and knowing that I never have to read it again. There have been so many classics that I've adored, and you're never going to like them all, and this was one that I just never feel as though I truly got into.

The Leopard is the top-selling novel in Italian history, and often heralded as one of the Italian classics we've all got to give a go. Set in the 1860s, it discussed the downfall of the Italian aristocracy from the point of view of an old Sicilian family. The main character sees the downfall happening, but is helpless to prevent it and realises that he will be the last of the Leopards (his family's sort of emblem, sort of idea of their own embodiment).

If I'm being totally honest, because I read this on my Kindle it was something that I dipped in and out of rather than reading in big blocks, and I've struggled to keep up with any sort of plot strand that kept its way throughout the book. It's been a few months since I read it, but even almost as soon as I finished I had hardly any memory of what really happened in the whole text.

I'm going to give this two stars because it was interesting to learn about Italian history (something I know almost nothing about) and I'm glad I went for it and pushed myself to read it, but I just didn't find it interesting.

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Review of 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven

It has been a few months since I've read this, but all the plot strands and my FEELINGS came rushing back to me as soon as I picked the book up again. Although I think that speaks for itself a little bit, I'm going to hammer home the fact that I adored this book and it surpassed all the expectations I had for it. 

Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at their school. Finch is well known at school for struggling with his mental health, being a bit rowdy and all in all a little out of the ordinary. Violet on the other hand spends all of her time desperate not to be noticed. When Finch realises he's not alone up there, he coaxes Violet off the ledge, and lets everyone think that she came up to the bell tower to save him to stop rumours spreading.

You see, Violet's had a tough time of it recently. After losing her sister, she's struggling to know who she is, and what she wants to do. Finch and Violet are paired to work together on a school project, and it helps her more than she ever imagined. Violet's survivor's guilt is extreme, and Finch helps her to see the brighter side of things, but things aren't going so well for Finch. Suffering with undiagnosed bipolar disorder, he sets out on a downward spiral that only Violet even begins to comprehend.

I won't lie, I spent the last 100 pages of this book crying. I mean full on weeping. Ironically I picked it off my shelf because another book looked 'too sad', but I did read this when I had the flu so maybe that's partly responsible for the heartbreak?

There were SO many things in this book that I feel are really important to include in books, especially YA books that are likely to be read by young people who may be struggling with their mental health:

1.) Friendship is important, and it can help (or it can hinder). You're never alone no matter how much you think you are.

2.) Bipolar disorder is not rapid: you don't necessarily switch moods over and over again instantly every day, like how it's often portrayed. Through the dialogue that Finch has with his counsellor, we learn a lot about being bipolar, how it can affect people differently, and ways to cope with it.

3.) There are chapters from Finch's perspective. We're not outsiders looking on to a third person character that sits in the background with a mental illness: Finch is at the very heart of it, and we even get insights to his diary and deepest thoughts on his struggles.

4.) There's no easy cure. No matter how much you love someone or how much you try or how much they try, mental illness can warp things and make everything very difficult.

5.) There is a barrier between young adults and adults in their community (their parents, teachers etc). I hope that one day this softens, especially in the UK with the whole ideal of the 'stiff upper lip'. Teens are expected to just deal with life when hormones and school pressures make it almost impossible.

There are so many more points I could pick out but I already feel like I've spoken too long on this! If you haven't guessed already, I'm going to give this 5 stars because it was just ... wow.

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Review of 'On the Other Side' by Carrie Hope Fletcher

I FINALLY feel like I'm making some headway into getting all my reviews up (though I'm fairly sure I said that back in January and I'm a solid three months behind again). However, this does mean I've got some excellent books to share with you on the way that made for great reads, and I'm so excited to write about them all!

On the Other Side is a story all about love and loss and secrets. 82-year-old Evie dies peacefully in her sleep, but can't quite pass into heaven. Instead she's trapped in a (pretty pleasant) purgatory that exists for her in her old apartment building. Evie's soul is too heavy to pass over into the afterlife; she's too weighed down with the secrets of her past.

Evie's transported back to when she was 27, and deep down she knows exactly what's keeping her at bay, though it's hard to delve into the wounds of her past. Born to a wealthy family, she was forced to leave her one true love, and marry a man with a good title, but in order to leave her past behind her, Evie might have to delve into exactly that, and find her way back to her true self.

The story behind this is like nothing I've heard of, or read before. It really makes me admire Carrie even more because wow it takes a big creative streak to come up with this story. I'm sure there are similar books out there that I've never heard of, but this one really came together well.

The book discusses a whole lot of important topics, including love, loss, friendship and family ties. But one of my favourite things is that the book contained multiple key characters from the LGBTQA community, and that they didn't both have the same sexuality. One character is a gay man who's struggling to come to terms with his feelings in a world and family that has never even considered the possibility of him feeling this way. The other is a pansexual woman who explains being pan in a way that everybody can understand, and I'm so grateful for Carrie putting these in. It's so important that we read diverse books and writers include diverse characters.

There's a whole lot of magical realism in here, so if that's not your thing then you might want to steer clear. But if it is, then this is such a comforting (though tear-jerking) quick read to go for.

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Review of 'The Rumour' by Lesley Kara

I've not read a good thriller in a LONG time, or at least I hadn't before this. I find thrillers either make me all 'oh my GOSH I'll never turn a light off again' or 'wow this person has some very creepy ideas, goes into a LOT of graphic detail and there's not really much plot'. This one (thankfully) fell into the former category. Even though I read this a few months ago now, the writing was so vivid that I can STILL remember specific scenes from the book.

Joanna, our main character, lives in a little town by the sea, a single parent to her son. Still on good terms with his dad (and let's face it, still a little in love with him, though they've never really been a couple), she has a fab support network with her mum helping out too.

Life is peaceful, if not a little boring, until Joanna hears that notorious child killer Sally McGowen is living under a new identity in their home town. Desperate to make some friends at her kid's school (and for him to stop being bullied because of the colour of his skin), Joanna spreads the rumour to a book club. Soon things escalate, and it's all everyone's talking about. 

Joanna begins to suspect almost everyone she knows, and when strange things start happening at school, she finds herself more convinced than ever that Sally's among them. Michael (her baby daddy, for want of a better word), is an investigative journalist, and her son begins to be targeted by someone trying to scare them into stopping looking into things. The whole family are swept up in something they never asked to be a part of, and if Sally killed a child once, what's to stop her doing it again?

I LOVED this book, but if you're going to read it I would recommend ignoring the endorsement quotes on it. There are so many things they spoilered for me in the book by saying things like 'keeps you guessing until the final page' which showed there was a twist on the last page. Just WHY.

It contains a couple of graphic violence scenes, so here's a little trigger warning for that.

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Review of 'This is Going to Hurt' by Adam Kay

This was the first book I finished in 2019, and 16 or so books later (I'm absolutely that behind on reviews), it's still the best book I've read this year. I saw so many people recommending it all over my twitter feed and Instagram, and now I'm one of the people that just will not shut up about it.

Adam Kay is an ex-junior doctor turned author. Seven years after he quit working for the NHS, he's published a collection of diary entries that he found from when he was working in the gynaecology department. These are elaborated on for the book and definitely don't fit the whole 'I got up and ate breakfast at 7am' style.

The book tracks a number of stories that really expose what it's like to be a junior doctor for the NHS. Kay writes about the pressures of the job, the long hours and the absolutely unimaginable strain it puts on you. He talks about how he's expected to perform surgery 10 hours into a shift, but gets pulled over by the police on his way home because he's so exhausted he's not really fit to drive. 

There are some incredible funny anecdotes in the book too. The most memorable one for me is a story about him helping a woman to give birth. As the head comes out the father shouts 'oh my GOD OUR BABY HAS NO FACE'. The mother freaks out, the baby shoots out and she's torn in a whole manner of ways. Kay then lets the father know that most babies are born face down and he was only looking at the back of its head...

The book really exposes what a wonderful thing our NHS is, and why we should do everything we can to save it. I think we all should give this book a read because it personalises the statistics we see about our struggling health service, and really shows how important it is to keep.

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Review of 'The Little Shop of Happy Ever After' by Jenny Colgan

I've been saving this book as the ultimate comfort read for a LONG time. It was given to me by my Auntie a few years ago with a little inscription saying the book made her think of me (honestly one of the loveliest things anyone can do?!), and I've been waiting for a good time to read it since then. Earlier this year I had an intense bout of the flu and this was a perfect sick bed read.

The book follows the story of Nina, a self-proclaimed bookworm and librarian who's soon to be out of a job. As a result of government cuts, her library's being axed, and Nina is forced to face an uncertain future. After saving a whole load of the books from the bin, Nina considers her life-long dream: to open a little book shop.

Nina sets off to Scotland to buy a van that's perfect for selling her books out of. But she has two problems: 1.) she's fallen head over heels for Scotland, and 2.) her home city of Birmingham won't let her sell books from the van there. Nina's forced to make the toughest decision of her life, and moves to Scotland to follow her dreams. But life in the highlands isn't too friendly for a single thirty-something who finds herself an outsider.

I absolutely blitzed through this - it was such a relaxing, easy to get through read. I've since tried to get my hands on all of Jenny Colgan's books because sometimes when life is tough we really need a read that isn't filled with massive peaks and troughs of tension. Having said that, it still was a page turner and there were some twists in the tale, but it read more like Enid Blyton for adults than some kind of nail-biting thriller. 

For a chick flick, the book doesn't focus entirely on romance either, which I love. Nina's friendships are a massive part of the book, overshadowing the romance, which I feel is more true of real life.

I'm giving this four stars - there were a few moments that didn't quite grip me, but I've already bought another of Colgan's books to read when I'm feeling down so it definitely wasn't all bad!

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Review of 'I am Malala' by Malala Yousafzai

I've always known Malala as 'the girl that got shot in the head by the taliban'; this book is all about delving beyond that and looking into Malala: the girl who fights for girls' education. It's so easy to get swept up by little titbit's about a person's character and label them as one thing, and I think it's so important for books, especially autobiographies like this one, to remind us that this is not the case.

This was actually my first read of the year, and something that I've been on the lookout for for a LONG time. I rarely (if ever) buy brand new books and reading this as part of my work book club group gave me the nudge I needed to depop myself a copy.

I am Malala starts off looking into Malala's life up to her attack. She describes what it was like to live in the absolute beauty spot that is Swat Valley (honestly - google pictures of this because wow the media has never shown me this side of Pakistan??). She describes the changes that were made as the Taliban took over this tourist destination, how they were helped by American forces (an absolute eye-opener) and how everything got a lot more dangerous.

Malala's father is a massive source of inspiration in her life. As someone with a lot of teaching experience, he founded his own school in their village. It was a co-ed, so taught both boys and girls. As the Taliban became more powerful and restricted the education rights of girls, this became more and more difficult for him. Malala and him attended conferences together on education where she began to speak out about why girls need to be educated as well as boys. Between this and her decision to not wear a hijab as she was instructed to, Malala became a target.

The book details her attack and recovery. On her way home from school one day Malala was shot in the head and underwent a whole lot of medical procedures to bring her back to the health she feels today. But, in order to receive the treatment, Malala was brought to the UK alone. A terrifying experience, it was still a tough adjustment when her parents came to join her. 

One of the most poignant and important aspects of the book in my opinion is this last part where Malala speaks about what it's like to live in the UK. Her life is in danger if she ever returns to Pakistan and so she doesn't have a choice about being here, and was flown whilst unable to make a decision about moving. She speaks out about how horrible it is to come to a new country that is utterly different to yours, and how heart-breaking she finds the idea of not being able to return to live in Swat Valley.

In the UK there's a whole wave of people that think refugees should be grateful that they're 'allowed' to live here, and that they're somehow less worthy if they miss home or admit that the UK isn't some paradise. I think so much work needs to be done to confront and tear down this narrative, and that Malala does this in a way that is easy to empathise with in her book.

The other thing that is very important to remember when reading this is that Malala was a child when she wrote this. We laud her up as a perfect Nobel peace prize winning symbol of bravery, but she was a child and some of her narrative reads like that. She speaks about how annoying her brother is and sometimes the text can seem a little juvenile. But, I do think it's important that this is the case, as it forces us as readers to remember that Malala is just a girl. An important and very brave girl, but still a girl.

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