Review of 'All the Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven

It has been a few months since I've read this, but all the plot strands and my FEELINGS came rushing back to me as soon as I picked the book up again. Although I think that speaks for itself a little bit, I'm going to hammer home the fact that I adored this book and it surpassed all the expectations I had for it. 

Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at their school. Finch is well known at school for struggling with his mental health, being a bit rowdy and all in all a little out of the ordinary. Violet on the other hand spends all of her time desperate not to be noticed. When Finch realises he's not alone up there, he coaxes Violet off the ledge, and lets everyone think that she came up to the bell tower to save him to stop rumours spreading.

You see, Violet's had a tough time of it recently. After losing her sister, she's struggling to know who she is, and what she wants to do. Finch and Violet are paired to work together on a school project, and it helps her more than she ever imagined. Violet's survivor's guilt is extreme, and Finch helps her to see the brighter side of things, but things aren't going so well for Finch. Suffering with undiagnosed bipolar disorder, he sets out on a downward spiral that only Violet even begins to comprehend.

I won't lie, I spent the last 100 pages of this book crying. I mean full on weeping. Ironically I picked it off my shelf because another book looked 'too sad', but I did read this when I had the flu so maybe that's partly responsible for the heartbreak?

There were SO many things in this book that I feel are really important to include in books, especially YA books that are likely to be read by young people who may be struggling with their mental health:

1.) Friendship is important, and it can help (or it can hinder). You're never alone no matter how much you think you are.

2.) Bipolar disorder is not rapid: you don't necessarily switch moods over and over again instantly every day, like how it's often portrayed. Through the dialogue that Finch has with his counsellor, we learn a lot about being bipolar, how it can affect people differently, and ways to cope with it.

3.) There are chapters from Finch's perspective. We're not outsiders looking on to a third person character that sits in the background with a mental illness: Finch is at the very heart of it, and we even get insights to his diary and deepest thoughts on his struggles.

4.) There's no easy cure. No matter how much you love someone or how much you try or how much they try, mental illness can warp things and make everything very difficult.

5.) There is a barrier between young adults and adults in their community (their parents, teachers etc). I hope that one day this softens, especially in the UK with the whole ideal of the 'stiff upper lip'. Teens are expected to just deal with life when hormones and school pressures make it almost impossible.

There are so many more points I could pick out but I already feel like I've spoken too long on this! If you haven't guessed already, I'm going to give this 5 stars because it was just ... wow.

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Review of 'Sex, Suicide and Serotonin' by Debbie Hampton

This really has been a year for mental health reading for me, and I've loved delving into non-fiction for pleasure for the first time in my life. Sex, Suicide and Serotonin has been one of the most eye-opening books of 2018 for me. It's filled with a whole plethora of information on how the brain functions, as well as an insight into what it's like to be someone who has survived a suicide attempt.

The book starts with Debbie's attempted suicide. After swallowing a concoction of alcohol and pills, Debbie was found by her teenage son and brought to the hospital. Unable to ascertain exactly what had been consumed, the doctors were unable to pump Debbie's stomach and she experienced severe brain injury as a result of her actions, but survived. The story tells the tale of Debbie's recovery from someone who is unable to speak, walk or eat without assistance, to someone who's written her own book and leads an independent life.

The thing that most interested me was the sheer range of techniques that Debbie tried to help her in her recovery, both mentally and physically. Not satisfied with traditional medicine, Debbie finds additional therapies to help nudge her along to health.

This book was such a powerful read for me, especially as you really don't hear much about adult suicide attempts in the media. As someone with a parent who's struggled with this, I found it an incredibly insightful read, and one that I would recommend.

Have you read it, or anything similar?

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Review of 'Stand Tall Little Girl' by Hope Virgo

Books about mental health can be a bit of a challenge for me. Whilst I find them inspiring and thought-provoking and beautiful, they can awaken thoughts that I've been trying to squash down and get rid of (although I guess it's probably good to end the repression). 

Stand Tall Little Girl was such a powerful read for me. It's a true story, and almost a memoir, of the author's struggle with anorexia as a teen, and moving into adulthood. Hope started developing the illness when she was 13, and the book follows her hopsitalisation and eventual recovery. This all makes it sound pretty straightforward, but Hope opens up about the devastating effects that eating disorders have not only on your mind and body, but on all aspects of life and those around you.

There are snippets from Hope's mother in the book, which I think are so important, explaining how things can get out of hand when you have an eating disorder. I always see people asking 'how did the parents not notice?!' when a teen gets to a point of extreme illness due to an ED, and Hope's mum explains how hard it actually is.

I think it's so important that Hope shows there's no quick fix to an ED, and the reality of relapse, even when it's way down the line from the start of your recovery journey. This was a book I really connected with, and I would definitely recommend it, especially to parents of teens that want a better insight into what might be going on.

Hope's also doing some fantastic charity work to raise money for the Shaw Mind Foundation, and you can donate here if you want to support her!

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Review of 'Must Try Harder: Adventures in Anxiety'* by Paula McGuire

'Must Try Harder' is a book that I really thought I wouldn't get on with at all, largely due to the name. I'm sure a lot of anxiety sufferers have been told in the past that maybe if they tried a little harder they'd just 'get over' their anxiety. But I'm so glad I moved past this to read what was truly an inspirational book for me. 

Paula McGuire subverts the idea of those struggling with anxiety needing to try harder to be better by absolutely going beyond anything that she ever expected. Paula suffered from severe anxiety that developed in her childhood and followed her all the way up until she hit thirty. Her anxiety and mental health issues were repeatedly misdiagnosed, and accepted as being 'just the way she is'.

However, Paula has a bit of a revelation. She's determined to fight her anxiety, and as social anxiety is what plagues her most, she focuses on sports. Paula has decided to have a go at all 17 Commonwealth games sports, and the book follows her journey into this.

I honestly found this such an inspirational read as someone who struggles with anxiety. It has made me want to stop putting off trying new things, but work with my anxiety and around my anxiety to do them in a way that's manageable for me. 

I would definitely recommend this to those struggling with anxiety or stuck in a bit of a rut, as it really does make you want to switch things up without being too 'self-help-y' or preachy!

*I was sent this book for the purpose of a review, but all thoughts and opinions are my own*

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Review of 'Shiny Happy Person' by Terri Cox

It's rare that I read a non-fiction book, or at least that used to be the case. I've recently finished number 5 of 2018 and that definitely holds some 'you're so far out of your comfort zone now boo' record. 

Shiny Happy Person is a book all about one woman's personal struggle with depression over many years. Her time as a teen was tough: after growing up as one-third of a set of triplets, Terri begins to find her own way through life without the back-up of her sisters. School was rife with bullying, but after spending a year abroad at uni to study languages was when Terri really found it hard to fit in to her 'shiny happy' persona.

Suddenly Terri found herself lost, a shell of her former self. It's something that became more and more apparent as she spent time with the people she loved until she reached breaking point. Everything stopped. Terri's love life had hit a wall and she was single again. With a strong support network however, she worked her way back up from the ground again.

The story is a tale of recovery and how things can get so low you need to recover. It's a story all about how mental health issues don't need to be caused by a massive trauma or specific incident, but how they grow and manifest, and are set off by a final straw. I absolutely blazed through it and found it so easy to connect with Terri. I loved that she didn't gloss over how hard recovery can be, and that she spoke about the things that helped her, and the bits that weren't so great.

It's an honest novel that tells the truth about what it's like to suffer with depression, and I would recommend giving it a read.

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Review of 'Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine' by Gail Honeyman

Can you *imagine* nervously putting this out as your debut novel and it being as big a hit as this? I mean, isn't this every author's dream?! Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine has been reviewed by every book blogger and their mum at this point, but I'm going to drop in my two pennies worth.

The hype for this was all over the Internet towards the end of 2017 and early 2018, but I left off reading this for a couple of months until it had died down a little to give me time to read the book as objectively as I could. When I finally got around to it, I realised that in every review I'd read and Instagram caption, no one had ever mentioned that Eleanor *might* be on the autism spectrum. She's someone that must abide by a strict routine, she's incredibly intelligent and she finds stepping out of her comfort zone, especially engaging in social situations, extremely difficult. 

However you look at it, it's clear that Eleanor's anxiety is extreme. She has certain rituals and routines that make her feel safe and she avoids excessive interaction with others. Every Friday she buys two bottles of vodka, and prepares for a blissful weekend away from everyone, only interrupted by a weekly phone call from Mummy. 

As you progress through the book, it's clear that Eleanor has had a difficult past. From mentions of being in care, to her physical scars, to her lack of family, something is off. It takes the work of Raymond, her co-worker who befriends Eleanor, to dig beneath the layers and help her.

*SPOILERS FROM HERE ON*

If I'm honest, this didn't *quite* live up to my expectations, and I think it's in part because I'm a hopeless romantic. I wanted Raymond to like Eleanor as more than a friend, and because it seemed like he did, I felt absolutely betrayed when he found a pretty blonde girl to get with. I wanted Eleanor to be viewed romantically by someone, to help us all believe that it's possible to be admired and desired, even if you're a little odd. I felt the sting of rejection, even if Eleanor didn't.

The main saving grace was that the twist at the end was something I genuinely didn't expect. As I was reading the book, I was convinced that I'd guessed the twist, but in reality I had no idea. Honeyman threw a total red herring in our way to get us off the scent, and I have to say it worked pretty darn well.

I would still definitely recommend it, as I *know* I would have liked it a lot more without all the hype. Plus, I'm definitely still hoping that there will be a Part 2 where Raymond gets his act together!

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Review of 'Remember This When You're Sad' by Maggy van Eijk

I'm not really a big non-fiction reader at all. They just don't appeal to me. But, I have thumbed through a few mental health books in my time, and to be honest, I've found them all a bit useless. They've told me what to do to live a happier life, rather than exploring different issues you may have etc. This book is different, gloriously different.

Remember This When You're Sad is one of those books where I was torn between devouring it because it was fab, and wanting to read it super slowly so that it lasted forever. It was just so good. I really wanted to keep it to myself to read over and over again, but knew it was something I had to share by passing to a friend. I've taken a whole load of photos of different pages to help me out in tough times instead of clinging onto it.

The book progresses through different areas of the body. We have the skin, where the author talks about self harm, the gut, where she discusses issues around body image, etc etc. Finally we move onto the scariest thing of all: the outside world. One of the reasons why I love this is that the book isn't about one thing that can negatively impact your mental health. It covers trauma, including sexual trauma, anxiety, depression, BPD, eating disorders, self harm, and a myriad of issues these things can cause. 

If I'm honest with myself, one of the reasons why I rarely read non-fiction books is that I find them intimidating. They're draining to read as your mind tries to absorb all of the facts and info found in them. Remember This When You're Sad took that away for me. It's filled with little sketches, lists and personal anecdotes to break up the intensity of the book, which is exactly what I need.

I would definitely recommend this book if you want to read a good mental health book. It's the best one of its kind that I've ever read!

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Review of 'A Question of Power' by Bessie Head

I'm officially into 2018 in my reviews now. I'm only a *couple* behind, so here we have it: the first book I completed this year. A Question of Power is a book that's now on a course I took at uni, and I really wanted to see why they chose it, how it was integrated, and how I felt about it in relation to other books on the course. Because, y'know, I miss studying. 

I found this book pretty heavy going. It's been a couple of months since I've read something that I would class as literary fiction, and it was honestly tough to get back into. A Question of Power is a story told in two parts. One part of the book is told by a narrator who knows what's going on. Elizabeth is a mixed race woman from South Africa who has recently moved to Botswana. In the day time she works first as a teacher and then in a communal garden growing food. But, ever so gradually, at night she begins to lose her mind. Elizabeth loses her grip on reality, and is plagued by three different presences: Sello, a monk, Medusa, an angry spirit, and Dan, a symbol of all that is bad. As we move through the book, the sane Elizabeth starts to lose hold of the narrative, and more and more of it becomes confused.

I found it so hard at times to keep track of where things where in the novel. It was hard to tell what was 'real' and what was a hallucination. But, I'm pretty sure that was part of the point: as Elizabeth became more confused, so did I. When she couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't, neither could I. 

I was absolutely fascinated by this tale of mental illness that was manifested as a real problem, not some kind of female hysteria. For a book published in 1973 it came across as genuinely progressive, and I definitely think it's a valuable read.

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Review of 'Alice and the Fly' by James Rice

I haven't read a good thriller in a long time, so when Aimee from Aimee Raindrop Writes offered to lend me this I jumped at the chance. Alice and the Fly is told from the perspective of an individual with an intense case of schizophrenia, or at least that's what psychiatrists have deemed it. I've never read a novel with such a good insight into what it's like to live with a debilitating mental illness. Not having struggled with schizophrenia myself, I feel as though I now understand more about it, and just how life-consuming it can be.

Greg is a bit of an oddball at school. Everyone calls him 'Psycho' because of what happened in the past, and he doesn't have any friends. His English teacher, Miss Hayes, attempts to tap into Greg, to see what is troubling him so that she can help him. She asks him to start a journal, and jot his thoughts down into it. This is what we get to read. Interspersed with diary entries are transcripts from police reports about an incident Greg is involved in. 

It soon becomes clear that Greg is struggling. He has so many thoughts inside him that he wants to express, but can't seem to get the words out. Instead he remains silent, and is mistaken for being cold and distant. 

The one thing which really drives Greg out of this stupor of quietude is his fear of spiders. It is a full on phobia. Greg has every possible gap in his room taped down so that no spiders can get in. His room is his safe space; there's no chance of Them getting in. But everywhere else is a mine field.

Alice and the Fly was a real page turner for me. I needed to find out why this troubled boy's family and associates were being investigated by the police. I wanted to see how Greg's psychiatric issues came about, how they were handled, and how they progressed as he became more and more obsessed by the idea of Them coming near him.

If you're into thrillers, then this is one that is so easy to whip through, and it definitely had some moments in which I was on the edge of my seat!

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Review of 'Highly Illogical Behaviour' by John Corey Whaley

I really haven't read a good number of mental health related fiction novels, despite being very interested in the genre. Highly Illogical Fiction is a young adult book which deals with acute agoraphobia and the anxiety that comes with it. In my opinion, the author tackles the subject excellently: there are no sudden cures to the protagonist's mental illness,  but there is gradual improvement, and that's what recovery is all about. 

Solomon hasn't left the house in three years. Not even just to enter his back yard. Three years ago, things came to a head with Solomon's mental health, and he had a breakdown at school, stripping down, jumping into a fountain and staying there until he was removed. After that, he realised he couldn't bear leaving the house again. His panic attacks had become so frequent and so severe that they were no longer something he could handle.

Three years on and Solomon is doing a little better. Yes, he doesn't leave his home, but he keeps up with schoolwork and the panic attacks are less frequent, albeit they still occur. Everything is going fairly smoothly, and nothing is changing: just as Solomon wants. That is, until Liza comes around.

Liza Praytor wants nothing more than to leave her hometown by getting a scholarship to a good university to study psychology. But she needs to write a paper on her experience with mental illness. Not suffering from a mental illness herself, Liza hardly believes her luck when she goes to a new dentist and it turns out to be Solomon's (aka the crazy fountain kid's) mum. After a little snooping, Liza finds out that he's still stuck at home, and decides to befriend him and write her paper on how she's going to help to make him better.

Solomon reluctantly agrees to meet with this girl who sent him a letter via his mother, asking for them to be friends. Their friendship blossoms, and she begins to help him with his panic attacks. There's just one problem: Solomon has no idea that this is all going on record; an experiment aimed to get Liza the place at university that she wants ...

Have you read it? What did you think?

Review of 'Can't Buy Me Love'* by Jane Lovering

I think I may have lost count of the number of times that I've woken up, head pounding, thinking this of a morning. For Willow however, there are more than her fair share of emotional traumas going on in the novel. You see, Willow's beloved grandfather has passed away, and what did he leave her? A nose. His nose. In a snuff box. Yep. 

He'd always called it his lucky nose, and rubbed it if he needed a little boost, but Willow is still disappointed that he neglected to leave her anything else in his will. However, upon further inspection she finds a note in the snuff box, which leads her to discover that one of his many inventions wasn't so crackpot after all, and she ends up with £50 000. 

As if that wasn't lucky enough, the man that she obsessed over endlessly during university has come to town, and told her that he was in love with her at the time, but just too shy to do anything about it. It seems like a dream come true. Willow is quick to help Luke in whatever way she can, so that he can pursue his dreams and they can be happy together, but her friends are concerned over the convenience of him turning up just as she gains her inheritance.

Putting it all down to jealousy, Willow ignores their pleas and happily continues her perfect love story with Luke, spending money with glee along the way. At the same time, she makes a new friend: Cal, her gay brother's lover. He actually listens to her, and she isn't as nervous around him as she is around other men, even though he's incredibly attractive, because him and her brother used to be more than friends. 

But, what if everyone's suspicions were right? And what if Willow has been busy making assumptions of her own? Is there hope for love out there for Willow?

I absolutely adored this book, and was hooked from the very first line (which revealed the nose in a snuff box inheritance). The exploration of Willow's anxiety was particularly interesting to me, as I'm keen to see mental health issues exposed and examined more frequently in novels. Willow has wound herself up into such a state of self hatred and anxiety that even just talking to an attractive man, who might possibly like her, forces her to physically be sick. She is endlessly trying to control this intense physical reaction to attraction, but time and time again, we see her struggle with it. 

If you're interested in seeing a 'not so nice' guy (to say the least) have the ultimate revenge cast upon him as well, then this is definitely one for you. I totally got caught up in the plotting and planning of his demise, and couldn't wait to see what happened!

Have you read it? What did you think?

Review of 'Shattered Rose' by Tammy L. Gray

My recent reviews have all been for vaguely chick flick-esque novels, and this one is another that fits into this category. I really wanted to take some time off of 'serious' reading, and read a few things that I could just kind of glide through with ease and comfort. Having said that, I've now started A Tale of Two Cities, so I'm back to getting the ol' cogs whirring.

Anyhow, if you have a Kindle, you can pick up Shattered Rose as a free ebook, and as free ebooks go it's really not all too bad. It's the first part of a trilogy, which I'm currently considering forging through after my current tome. However, unlike many free e-books you don't get half a story here, so that you basically have to go out and buy the second installment to actually understand the plot somewhat. Here we're given a full, stand-alone novel, with romance and some serious issues at stake.

TRIGGER WARNING - eating disorders

I'm so pleased that more and more authors are tackling serious mental illnesses, but I am honestly looking forward to a time at which there are warnings for triggers in a blurb, or at the start of a novel. Although it adds to the suspense I guess, there's nothing worse than suddenly coming across something that you didn't expect in a novel which can suddenly put your own mental health or recovery at risk. Avery, the protagonist of the novel, is under a great deal of pressure at college, and engages in a number of concerning behavioural patterns as a result of this. She tells no one at the college about her eating disorder, and grows more and more isolated as her recovery worsens. 

The novel tracks the toxic impression that people can have on someone struggling with an eating disorder. Avery begins to fall in love with her roommate's cousin, Jake, and the happiness that comes with their relationship means she becomes less and less reliant upon her eating disorder in terms of controlling her life. However, she also falls behind on college work. When Jake ultimately breaks her heart and she is alone once more, the stress of how behind she is piles on to her feelings of being unwanted: her eating disorder becomes worse than ever. I was a little disappointed to find that it improved once more when she finds a new man that her loves her; the author really seems to suggest that the 'cure' to an eating disorder is having a man to support you. I think this gives off a truly worrying impression to readers, especially young teenage girls (this is after all a young adult novel), as it indicates that being single makes you 'less worthy' of recovery, as Avery feels, when in fact this is not true.

Have you read it? What did you think?

Steph

Review of 'What Doesn't Kill You'* by Laura E James

Before I go any further with this review, I would like to state several trigger warnings. The book contains topics including rape, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and self harm. Although this makes the book sound incredibly depressive and dark, it is actually an incredibly uplifting and well written story. 

The author doesn't simply allude to serious instances of rape or self harm and make them appear standalone in their impact on the story or the character, but rather has a much more realistic approach, making the impact of them on the characters shown throughout the novel. Indeed, she handles these sensitive storylines with such care and dexterity that it is probably the most accurate portrayal of teenage self harm I have ever read in a novel. 

Aside from these themes, the book largely deals with love and loss, and how these two have infinite connections. I loved the fact that both of the main adult characters, Griff and Evie have baggage that they bring to the relationship. It is both realistic and endearing. Indeed, the tough family dynamic with an ill father, a grumpy teenage stepdaughter and young son is also incredibly well done.

Synopsis

Griff simply can't understand why Evie doesn't want him in her life anymore. They've built a life together, and a family together - what has happened? With no home to go to, and no one to lean on, Griff throws himself into his work as a coast guard. little does he know that Evie hasn't stopped loving him - she loves him more than ever and that's why she's distanced himself. As well as looking after her daughter from a previous relationship and her and Griff's young son, Evie has become the full time sole carer for Griff's decrepit father. This is something she loves doing, but there's one problem: he wants her help in euthanising himself. She knows that if Griff found out he could never forgive her, so distancing herself from him seems to cause the least pain. But does it really? And what will happen when someone else enters the scene to rock their marital boat even further?

Buy it here

Have you read it? What did you think?

Steph x

Review of "The Shock of the Fall"

This suspense novella from Nathan Filer ensures that you're kept at arm's length from the protagonist Matthew. At least, Matthew is what the protagonist calls himself. When Matthew's older brother Simon dies in his presence - something that causes a whole host of psychical traumas for young Matthew - Matthew blames himself. At nineteen he commences writing his story for us, something which is at times more confused than others, depending on his mental stability. This was a truly touching story about the implications of mental illness, specifically schizophrenia, on both an individual and the people surrounding him.

Matt just wants to have his brother back: pretty reasonable request, right? But why does everyone try to control his contact with him, and why will no one accept that he killed him? Simon is a happy, loving young boy, and his death leaves a gaping hole in the family life of Matthew and his parents. When Matthew begins to deteriorate, it is his Nanny Noo whom he confides in, and who is the only one he will see. The real question is: how do you move past the death of a sibling? Can you ever? And what if your reality still includes spending time with them?

Have you read it? What did you think?

Steph x